sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize