I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
