Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
