i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
