I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
