I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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