I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The maid of honor just puked.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
