Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize