you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Randomize
