You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
