You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
