They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
