Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
