The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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