okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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