Nicole vs. Life
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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