is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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