Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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