So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
