as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
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just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
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But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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