with your own penis?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize