Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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