Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Randomize
