it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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