last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
