when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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