Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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