laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
