I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
God, I missed his penis.
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