We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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