Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
