bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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