last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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