last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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