NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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