It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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