She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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