I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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