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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  no

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE

  Fav 12 831 1657

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.

  Fav 8 2727 1195

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• (718): View more from New York

  Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!

  Fav 28 6194 1164

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.

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• (661): View more from California

  I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.

  Fav 15 2936 779

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".

  Fav 0 506 369

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• (845): View more from New York

  Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Did I turn a man straight...??

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Yes!

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