In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
