Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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