But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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