Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I am one with the molecules
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
