forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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