Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
