He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Someone came in the potted fern
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
