I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize