now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
