Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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