She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
