you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
