Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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