she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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