dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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