Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
