Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
