So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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