WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
