i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
