Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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